I shouldn't be right now. In fact, I should be toiling my life away over my paper for Art Studies 1 and another plate I seriously can't finish today. Doing my paper now and having recent memories rush through me like how my classmate Jeff Sayson had asked me, his eyes bulging like that of a stupefied tarsier's, why I hadn't done my plates before (point is, what does he care for other than his own well-being?), and how our professor disappointedly shook her head when I still hadn't finished a more or less two months late plate, when I tried to and at had done another more recent assignment for her subject which was sadly rejected with an accompanying "Why did you you shouldn't have without even making studies" statement,
(Now I know how Yoru had felt when she had drawn by herself the Observatory at Académie D'Infini, expecting much gratitude, and where I had only scolded her for her not consulting us about it in the first place.)
and just the way the others look at me, seemingly peering down onto someone who had trapped herself into a deep dark well.
Listening to loud music to keep the unnecessary thoughts afar, swearing to myself I'd get an icky five for that major subject in which I am faltering in, and getting my groupmates into trouble for not being in school now.
I have only myself to depend on to climb out of this hole, not really meaning to drag anyone else into it as well, but right now it doesn't feel wrong.
And fine, it's all my fault. No, I'm not being emo (eww), and I am only stating how a part of my school life is right now.
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